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Main image: Elstree

Here at Talk ÍÑ¿ã°É, we are evangelical about the benefits of boarding – from the co-curricular opportunities to the top-notch pastoral care and the myriad of life skills that pupils pick up along the way: independence, resilience, emotional intelligence and much more. We recently commissioned an exciting piece of research into families’ perceptions of boarding, and it was hugely refreshing to hear countless positive stories of how children have flourished in boarding environments and relished being part of a tight-knit and nurturing community.

That said, we’re all too aware of stories circulating in the press that shine a less positive light on boarding schools, and it’s evident that there might still be some work to be done to dispel a handful of outstanding myths. Outdated stereotypes of freezing dormitories, hostile matrons and children cut off from their families for months couldn’t be further from the reality of 21st-century boarding schools, and with schools constantly evolving and adapting their boarding models to ensure they stay in touch with the needs of modern families, it is clear that boarding schools are thriving more than ever.

‘Boarding is unrecognisable from some of the stories which parents will have heard in the news, where behaviour was tolerated which would be wholly unacceptable today,’ says Emma Mayo, deputy head at The Leys, where about 50 per cent of pupils opt into boarding. ‘Gone are the days where you drop your children off and aren’t allowed to see them for the next three weeks,’ adds Katy Dallimore, the Dragon School’s deputy head. ‘The boarding community is built from warmth, openness, communication and collaboration – not from strict operations, marching and cold concrete corridors.’

'Trust and rely on inspection evidence from ISI and OFSTED and know that your child will be well-looked after and cared for by compassionate and caring people with one thing in mind: the wellbeing of your child', echoes Owen Dyson, head of boarding at Ackworth School.

Brilliant pastoral care is the cornerstone of any boarding community – and creating a safe, secure environment for children to grow up in is the number one priority for any modern boarding school. It’s no secret that it takes a village to raise a child, and boarding houses are staffed by veritable armies of housemasters, housemistresses, tutors, matrons and medical staff to make up a real family unit. 'A good boarding experience will emulate the provision a child has at home but with the added benefits of a rich social environment. Boarders are able to learn from each other alongside trained professional staff who are there to care for them', says Leonie Serbrock, head of boarding at Mowden Hall School. There's also the added bonus of boarding staff bridging the gap between a pupil's academic and pastoral life. 'Great boarding staff will have a full awareness of what is going on in a boarder’s ‘school’ life and will use this information to support when needed but never will a child be made to feel that an issue or concern follows them around, even when staff may be present in both settings', adds Owen Dyson.

Putting pastoral needs front and centre, boarding can be a godsend for busy working parents trying to juggle endless commitments while worrying about being there for their children 24/7. ‘At a time when parents often work long hours and where families can be geographically scattered and significantly smaller than they used to be, boarding brings young people together with a core group of highly experienced adults who look after them in a quasi-familial structure,’ say Hilary Dugdale and Tom Atkinson, Lancing College’s senior deputy head and housemaster. And with a generation of children still reeling from Covid lockdowns and school closures, it could be argued that boarding schools are more relevant than ever. ‘There is a strong social contract in good boarding environments, and in the post-Covid world where children had sheltered and separate childhoods, this boarding communality can be so important,’ they add.



Of course, the greatest endorsement comes from pupils themselves, as well as the attributes they develop from being part of a boarding community. ‘Boarding is an opportunity for children to find their identity, to build their confidence, their emotional intelligence, their sense of adventure, resilience and independence – and, not to mention, have huge amounts of fun,’ says Katy Dallimore. ‘Boarding teaches children valuable social skills and how to navigate diverse social environments,’ adds Paul Juniper, head of boarding at Bede’s. ‘Socially, it allows them to form lasting friendships. Emotionally, boarding teaches resilience as children learn to navigate challenges away from home. Academically, boarders have access to teachers and resources in the evenings and on weekends, providing additional help and academic enrichment.’



It also teaches children to live and rub along with others. ‘Children who board understand the importance of respect and tolerance – with so many characters, cultures and interests coming together, they know that the consideration of others and acting with kindness are paramount,’ says James Morris, a houseparent at Elstree School. ‘Boarding gives children regular opportunities to focus on developing long-lasting friendships, empathy for others and an unselfish mindset,’ adds Tom Gloster, head of boarding at Caldicott School. ‘Learning to be compassionate and think of others – as well as building the other soft skills that are so essential for children as they grow – is exactly what boys develop and practise in boarding.’

Some schools such as Stonyhurst College follow a horizontal boarding model, where pupils live with their peers from their own age group. This works particularly well for younger boarders, who live in a small nurturing environment while they’re still finding their feet – and their specific age- and stage-related needs are fully catered for. Other schools run their boarding house on a vertical model, with cross-age interaction and mentorship encouraged via pupils sharing dormitories and common areas with all age groups. ‘Pupils learn to respect others’ boundaries and work together as a mutual support system,’ says Caty Jacques, deputy head pastoral at Hurstpierpoint College. Boarding can be fantastic preparation for the leap beyond school too, with many schools’ sixth-form boarding houses more closely resembling university accommodation and pupils taking on responsibilities such as doing their own laundry and cooking and preparing meals. At DLD College London, pupils live in single ensuite rooms that feel more like university halls than school, while boarders at Sevenoaks School are taught to cook in their houses’ lovely kitchens, building up to producing three-course dinners and learning to juggle lessons, homework and chores. 'Going to university should be no huge step for a boarder who has significant boarding experience behind them, aiding them in their academic attainment', says Owen Dyson. 



It’s not just the pastoral environment that makes boarding so appealing. There’s also the fact that pupils can pack so much more into their day, reaping the full benefits of their school’s academic and co-curricular programmes. ‘Pupils have more time – not just to be with their friends and learning to be independent – but they can also attend extra sports matches, rehearsals and practise their instruments in a more relaxed atmosphere,’ says The Leys’s Emma Mayo. ‘They have access and support from house staff and tutors each evening where they can ask for help with homework, with younger pupils benefitting from the guidance from older pupil role models in their houses.’

Keeping lines of communication open and families feeling included in their child’s boarding education is vital – and ‘gone are the days where boys were unable to get in touch with their families’, says Tom Gloster. Today, schools bend over backwards to involve parents in a number of imaginative ways – and that’s not just by inviting them to watch Saturday sports matches. At Bruern Abbey Prep School in Oxfordshire, parents can pop in to catch up with their sons at the school’s twice-weekly candlelit dinners, while the Dragon recently extended its popular Saturday enrichment programme, Dragon Quest, to parents. Activities include everything from deer husbandry to animation – and it’s always a sell-out. At Caldicott, boys can go ‘out visiting’ with their parents after playing in Wednesday-afternoon matches, which gives them an opportunity to enjoy some quality midweek family time before heading home for the weekend. There’s even more flexibility at senior schools. ‘At Bede’s, we offer the flexibility for pupils to go home as often as they like, recognising the importance of family connections whilst providing a nurturing boarding environment,’ says Paul Juniper.



Many schools offer pupils the opportunity to try out boarding before committing, too. Elstree runs ‘Big Weekends’ for day pupils, inviting them in for weekend sleepovers filled with activities such as camping, orienteering, socials with other schools and movie nights to give them a taste of the boarding experience. They’ve proven to be a huge success – this term, 100 per cent of Year 8 girls have signed up to board. ‘Above all, we have made a provision to ensure that parents and pupils alike know that they are in safe, supportive hands in an environment that offers endless opportunities,’ says Olivia Inglis, the headmaster’s wife.

Over the past few years, even the most staunchly traditional boarding schools have been sitting up and listening to the needs of modern families and adapting their models accordingly. Schools offering exclusively full boarding are a rare breed these days, and although a handful of genuinely seven-days-a-week remain (including Radley, Marlborough, Tonbridge and Rugby), they offer jam-packed weekend programmes of trips, clubs and activities – and there’s usually so much going on that pupils don’t even feel the need to take up opportunities to pop out for lunch or supper with their families or head home for the occasional night. At The King’s School Canterbury, where boarding is still full rather than weekly, pupils can go home any weekend they like, as long as they’re back for Sunday evensong. Full-boarding pupils at Benenden are now welcome to head home on a Saturday night, with the exception of three fixed weekends each term. It’s a sensible move in tune with the times – even if the feedback is that the girls are busy having too much fun in school to think about going home.

With a range of flexi, weekly and ad-hoc boarding structures offered at most schools, pupils can pick exactly what suits them. Some schools even offer flexi boarders their own bed, so their space in a boarding house is a real home from home. Other schools go out of their way to ensure that day and boarding pupils are fully integrated and no one feels left out: at Bedford School (where flexi boarding was introduced for the first time last year), the six boarding houses are twinned with the six day houses, so there’s no ‘them and us’ mentality. Importantly, schools don’t always completely shut down when most boarders do go home – Giggleswick, where pupils can board full time, five nights or three nights a week, stays open on closed exeat weekends to ensure international students and those who can’t pop home are well looked after.



Hurstpierpoint College recently scrapped full boarding in favour of flexi and weekly options, meaning that when pupils go home at weekends, having thrown themselves into school life during the week, they’re able to focus on spending quality time with their families. ‘We feel that our current boarding provision is much more in line with what parents are looking for nowadays: an option which enables pupils to develop all of the personal, social and academic skills that boarding offers, but one where they remain well-connected to family life beyond the College,’ says Hurstpierpoint College’s Caty Jacques. The Leys, which offers ‘family-friendly’ boarding, has been making changes too. Sunday chapel is now optional for boarders, and pupils are welcome to return to school on Monday morning, giving families more flexibility and children ample time to properly rest and recharge their batteries.

A few years ago, Sunningdale School announced a new weekly-boarding option for the first time to mirror what many senior schools offer. And over the past few years, The Elms has been busy adapting its boarding model to what must be one of the most flexible ever – every child from Year 4 upwards gets a bed, meaning pupils can stay over whenever the mood strikes them, charging just £50 per night for pay-as-you-go sleepovers. Times are changing at Caldicott too, where it has long been compulsory for boys in Year 7 and 8 to board in preparation for senior school. The school is currently gearing up to introduce a brand-new Day Plus boarding option in September, which will give boys and their parents the freedom to decide the exact level of commitment they wish to make to boarding. The new structure will include two optional nights of boarding per week (with an option to top this up throughout the term), and reflects the school’s responsiveness to a modern parent body, as well as an understanding that not all children are ready to board at the same time.



One thing is resoundingly clear: boarding numbers are booming, pupils are reaping the benefits of longer school days, more time and superb pastoral care – and long gone are the days when parents had to fit in around whatever boarding model their child’s school presented to them.