How can we best support our 'non school-shaped' children?

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Over the years, I have seen many young people who find it hard to feel at home in the current school system. On the whole, the educational journey at the moment is set up for young people that are academically competent, whilst those who battle find it hard. It is particularly difficult for those who can’t compensate an academic weakness with being good at sport, music, art, drama or other extra-curricular subjects, which can lead to a feeling of being unable to show any success within a school community. We could describe these pupils as having the royal flush of can’ts. This is often combined with a manifestation of disconnection and disengagement which can in turn, escalate into poor behaviour. This is so understandable when you see it from the point of view of a child and think about how they must be feeling day in, day out. They aren’t noticed, they don’t feel valued and they don’t feel like they’re progressing in any area at all.

This is where pastoral proactivity needs to operate. I think there are two key principles that we should work on employing with these young people. The first is using the incredible opportunities and facilities of our schools to ‘observe’ where these young people may flourish. If we can recognise where they flourish, applaud it and make a fuss about it, encouraging them to do it as often as they can, this will, in my terms, inflate their balloon. An inflated balloon will give them that much more capacity to cope with the challenges that they have.

The second area that we can focus on is small steps. For some, we may set the bar very low – for example, focus on simply looking smart and applaud it. This leads us on to the next step that is achievable. As the snowball gets larger, it creates its own sense of ‘I can do it’ and the school journey gains a positive momentum. I specifically remember a pupil I had when I taught, who I would feed with Mint Imperials whenever he looked smart. This led on to the next steps of ‘I can’ and a year or two later, he was playing inside centre for the school 1st XV along with many other successes. Start small and the snowball will get bigger.

Above all, we must embrace the qualities that these non ‘school-shaped’ children have. Just because academics and traditional school endeavours aren’t for them, this doesn’t prevent them having the qualities that will get them through life in a successful and fulfilling way. It’s not all about exam results, it’s about being treated as a human being with potential. If their life’s CV is filled with stellar qualities, this will ensure success and happiness in a way that is unique to them, rather than expecting them to flourish in a system which can be so challenging. Take time to work out what their qualities are, encourage them to feel secure in the knowledge that they are not alone in finding school a challenge, and above all cherish them.

This week, James is setting off on an epic row across the English Channel to raise funds for the running of his double decker bus, which he uses to visit schools to spread his mental health support message. It's a bonkers, brilliant and hugely admirable feat for James, whose minimal sight means intense concentration is required to row in time with his colleagues. If you're keen to support this very worthy cause, please do donate or visit .

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How can we best support our 'non school-shaped' children?

TE Schools Advice